Chronicles of Rape

Speaking on rape and that he thinks it’s wrong and that it’s never the person’s fault for being raped. Talks about the video he made recently about being drunk and rape.

Original video title: “Rape Is Bad Mmmkay?”

No, you mother fucking shit stain. You have NOT made this very very clear. Your constant insistence on making people take responsibility for their own actions prior to being raped, and making excuses for rapists, specifically says that you think that some rape is justified. Your belittlement of some forms of rape vs other forms of rape (something not being rape rape) proves your ignorance to the subject and how damaging comments like those are. Your desire to speak OVER rape victims and then get angry at them when they tell you that you did it wrong, instead of listening to them and allowing them to speak, shows a complete lack of sensitivity to them, and a complete lack of desire to actually understand and aid people who have been victimized. 

You want to make the rape of other people all about you. Guess what, Greg, YOUR opinion on what has happened to OTHER PEOPLE does not trump THEIR experiences. When rape victims come to you and say, “Listen, Greg, I have been raped, and comments like the ones you made were what shamed me into silence, and stopped me from reporting it,” and then you get mad at them for requesting that you alter your shitty behavior, YOU ARE NOT HELPING RAPE VICTIMS, YOU ARE HURTING THEM! You are taking a selfish approach to rape advocacy, making your feelings the only ones that matter. You just want to be applauded for being anti-rape, without actually being anti-rape.

YOUR OPINIONS ARE IGNORANT.
YOUR OPINIONS ARE STEREOTYPICAL AND BIASED.
YOUR OPINIONS ARE THE TYPES OF OPINIONS THAT JUSTIFY DATE RAPE AND BASICALLY ALL FORMS OF RAPE THAT AREN’T STRANGER IN A DARK ALLEY RAPE.
YOUR OPINIONS ARE PROBLEMATIC AT BEST, DANGEROUS AT WORST.
YOUR OPINIONS ARE NOT. FUCKING. NEEDED.

The only thing that you have made clear in your series of “anti-rape” videos is that you know nothing about rape besides what you see on cop shows. You’ve made it clear that you have no intention to actually educate yourself, and that the only thing you think you need to know about rape is what you’ve concocted in that thick skull of yours. You’ve made it clear that you don’t give a shit if you hurt rape victims further, and perpetuate myths and stereotypes that make their struggles worse. 

Anyone can say they’re against rape. But to actually understand rape, educate yourself and speak on it intelligently, and take a back-mother-fucking-seat while the actual rape victims talk, that’s a lot more difficult. Especially for a narcissist like you who thinks of his own opinions as the ultimate truth. 

The only video I EVER want to see from you about rape again is one that says, “I now realize that I am far too ignorant and inexperienced to speak about rape any further. I’m sorry for any pain I caused to rape victims with my words that further victimized them. I will no longer talk about the subject, but rather redirect you to experts on the topic, such as articles, documentaries, and first hand accounts of how rape and rape culture affect victims. I was wrong to assume that I knew everything about a topic with which I have no education in and no training about how to approach. I acted insensitively and I hope that I have not influenced anyone to commit an act of rape due to my justification of their actions.”

Until you make that video, Greg, I’m going to keep talking about how wrong you are. That’s MY freedom of speech in action. If you don’t like people calling you out on your bullshit, ABSORB THE CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM YOU ARE GIVEN, GROW, LEARN, AND STOP PUTTING YOUR FOOT IN YOUR MOUTH! 

Again, YOUR OPINION IS NOT NEEDED!

And if I seem a bit angry about this, it’s because I am sick and tired of slut shaming, victim blaming, and the perpetuation of  harmful, hateful stereotypes that justify victimization. I can’t be patient with Onision anymore. He’s displayed nothing but willful ignorance when the truth is staring him directly in the face. He is a sick individual and it baffles me that youtube PAYS HIM to spout this hate speech.

I hope the money you make off these videos is worth it to you Greg. I hope you sleep like a baby knowing that you are profiting off other people’s pain. You have such a unique opportunity to help people, but all you do is hurt them. 

(Source: onionchronicles)

I have this problem where I allow people’s arrogance to piss me off moreso than it should. I recently made a video about how troubled I am by the MRA movement and was bombarded with hateful comments, comments that were so vague yet so specific in stating that I was an idiot who was irrational and incorrect without offering any counter-claims explaining my incorrect stance, comments about my appearance and my weight, and comments full of anecdata describing how these one-off incidents were prime examples of men’s oppression in our society.

I was also told that all of the problems men face (not being able to gain custody of children, being murdered at higher rates than women, prison rape, etc) were examples of rights issues and male oppression, but that women being raped at alarming rates, women being muscled out of career advancement by boys clubs and sexist comments/harassment/bullying tactics, being forced into prostitution and sex work (which I consider in a way the equivalent of these cries of the number of homeless men, let’s face it, many of these women who are prostitutes are essentially homeless, and often only receive shelter through an exploitative male figure such as a pimp, but you don’t see them lumped in with the homeless population), etc, were not rights issues, nor were they true oppression.

I was then told that, despite the fact that primarily men own the media outlets, it’s a feminist media. I was given a handful of shows that were examples of women on tv, while completely overlooking all the man-specific shows and channels, and ignoring the wide variety of male representation vs the very limited gender roles that women play on tv which tend to play up their helplessness, annoyingness, cattiness, and focus specifically on their beauty.

I was told that my own failures in the workplace, and the failures of other women, were simply a lack of talent and competence. Without even seeing me work, or seeing the products of my efforts, the assumption was made that I, as a woman, am simply incapable of the same results that a man would get in the same position. The clear gender bias in my field is all in my head as well. Meanwhile, when men don’t succeed, it is directly related to affirmative action. It has nothing to do with their abilities and is a completely sexist, racist conspiracy to bring the white man down (BTW, I am racist for acknowledging the MRA movement is primarily a phenomenon of the white males in our society. Their telling me how diverse their movement is means it is true).

I was then told that they are not sexist because there are a handful of MRAs who happen to be women, and not racist because a handful of MRAs happen to be minorities. They aren’t sexist against youtube vlogger girlwriteswhat because she does an excellent job of being sexist against herself, or, according to them, she speaks rationally and intelligently. Her disdain for her own gender is so clear that they don’t have to treat her in a sexist manner, the work has been done for them. But I was told to watch her videos for a wake up call, when all I was treated to was more blatant hypocrisy and a bunch of sexist theories.

Men’s rights are real issues, women’s rights are a bunch of whining

We have the titanic theory in which the concept of “women and children first” shows that women were valued and men were disposable. Girlwriteswhat chalks this up to the fact that men can constantly produce sperm, but women can only produce one egg at a time, have a 9 month gestation period, etc. Ok, guys, hate to break it to you, but that “women and children first” bit was just another one-off. A moment in time in which women were given preferential treatment over men, which MRAs will use as a shining example of systematic oppression of men in our society. They completely disregard the reality that children are our future, and that any parent would gladly give their lives so that their child could continue theirs. This was a time where women were the primary caregivers of their children, a role that they had very little choice in opposing, so it was seen as in the best interest of the children to send the mothers along with them. If a similar situation were to occur in this day and age, whoever the primary care giver happened to be, be it male or female, would likely be sent with the child. Not to mention, it was, maybe still is, a desire of men to continue their lineage. A 50 year old man was not likely to go on to spread his seed further, yet his sons and daughters had the option to create future generations of Smiths and Jones given the opportunity to escape the ship. Regardless of the thought process behind it, this was not common practice, nor is it a solid example of male oppression. It’s just a tragedy that unfortunately could have been prevented but wasn’t.

Another troubling issue I took with her idea of right and wrong was in the raising of her children, she seems to find it necessary to use gendered insults to motivate her children (this is a long video, but there is example after example of her hatred of women in this interview) When motivating her daughter she calls her a princess (funny, I was called a princess repeatedly in my comments section) which is code for stop acting like an entitled woman who thinks she is royalty. When motivating her son she tells him to “pull up his big girl pants,” again, insinuating that there is something inherently wrong, lazy, and whiny about being a woman. These are two children who are going to grow up with prejudices against women stemming from their mother’s obvious bias in assuming that women are, by nature, lazy.

In the same interview she takes responsibility for her own rape, saying that, had she not knowingly put herself in a dangerous situation, she would not have been raped. Ok, this is incredibly troubling, and I came across a really excellent quote that helped me express my feelings on the subject of victim blaming on one of my new favorite blogs, manboobz:

And does anyone else find it disturbing how much MRAs talk about “programming?” its disturbing because it denies people, especially women, control of their actions and gives MRAs the belief that because women are “programmed” a certain way, thus men must control them so they don’t get out of hand.

Similarly when they talk about men’s programming it denies them the responsibility of their actions. Like when they say “sorry but I’m programmed to catcall when I see a chick in a lowcut top.’ Yet they never allude to anyone controlling men or removing men’s rights to save them from themselves. They never allude to locking men in the house if they can’t help harassing women on the street. Instead they force women to wear burquas and bear the consequences of their actions

So girlwriteswhat should have not lived her life in accordance to her needs and wants because of the likelihood that a man might choose to victimize her, and her subsequent victimization after having made a “not so safe” choice somehow holds her at least partially responsible for the victimization, as she wouldn’t have been victimized had she stayed home that night.

I must express how incredibly false this statement is from a completely different standpoint than simply being against blaming the victim. Had she not been victimized that night, her life may have taken a completely different path, eventually landing her in a situation in which she was raped in a different set of circumstances. To dwell on what ifs is dangerous, deceiving, and illogical. You cannot determine what would have happened in your life had you not made one decision because one decision can completely alter the course of your life in ways which you cannot imagine.

Ok, let’s, for a moment, compare this to one of the epidemics that MRAs love to go on about: The rape of incarcerated men, and particularly the rape of those who have committed rape. I absolutely, 100%, feel that it is wrong to rape, regardless of gender, regardless of choice, regardless of anything. Rape is never acceptable and never the fault of the victim. Another person makes a decision to rape you, and while you could technically “fight back,” that could result in the person being hurt even worse, or possibly killed. Any and all choice made before, during, or after a rape does not make the rape any more or less the fault of the victim, as it is always 100% on the rapist for committing the crime.

That being said, MRAs are constantly trying to get women to take responsibility if they wore a short skirt or walked down an alley alone, but never suggest that incarcerated men bare partial responsibility for having committed a crime in the first place. Everyone knows that the likelihood of being raped as a man dramatically increases upon incarceration (and this is a provable assertion through statistics, and not through a false assumption that the wearing of a short skirt encourages rape), yet men still choose to commit crimes that will land them in jail. So if I were to subscribe to this false mentality that victims were somehow to blame for their choices that happened to land them in a situation in which they were victimized, MRAs would have to accept that the men who choose to commit crimes are also responsible for their own rapes. They would also have to accept responsibility in their choices to associate with women who rape them, as many women are blamed for their selection in male acquaintances and partners and admonished for trusting said acquaintances and partners when they happened to assault them.

The list of hypocrisy goes on and on and just diminishes the likelihood that anyone will take their movement seriously. It’s unfortunate for the causes they stand for which do actually deserve attention, such as the need for both parents to get a fair shot at custody rights, and for the rape of men by women to be recognized as rape and not “other sexual assault.” But instead of focusing on these issues and seeking to create legislation that rectify them, they seem to be more concerned with blaming feminism for them. They make statements about unequal treatment of men and lace them with anti-woman sentiments.

They write off any non-supportive statements of MRAs immediately, without even listening or reading beyond the first few sentences, as irrational straw man arguments.

They expect women to take full responsibility for all of their actions, and even the actions of others against them, while acting as though men are victims of the feminist culture in which they were raised. Feminism is to blame somehow for male victimization of other males, despite the fact that men have been committing violent crimes against each other since the dawn of time, centuries before women had even the slightest bit of control.

The other flaw of the movement is how quick they are to lump all women in with the actions of one bad person. Their paranoia about sperm burglars runs so rampant in their community that it was used as an argument as a privilege that women hold in the comments of one youtube video:

Despite the fact that sperm only survive for a few minutes to a few hours outside the body, making it pretty unlikely that this tactic would actually work, it’s insanity to assume that women are actually doing this often. There is also this hatred towards women who claim to be on the pill, allowing the man to engage in intercourse without a condom, while completely ignoring the amount of men who insist on using the pull out method, but then don’t actually follow through with pulling out. When it comes down to it, neither gender is any more or less responsible for the use of contraceptives. Both can insist that a condom is used, both can be, and are at times, dishonest when it comes to using protection. Yet MRAs take some examples of women’s dishonesty, the accidents that happen when they are using birth control, or the allowing of sex without a condom, and use it to paint all women in this lying, manipulative light, assuming that their individual sperm is so valuable to women that they must steal it from them. This insistence that all women are trying to trap them for 18 years of child support is a paranoid delusion that I don’t even feel is that necessary to touch upon because it’s so obvious, yet it’s constantly being touted as trufax.

I could continue but I have homework to do. I am just bewildered by this phenomenon and I am at my wits end hearing all of this anti-woman hate speech in an attempt to understand if there is even the slightest bit of validity in their claims. Part of me wants to just ignore it, delete my video, and cut my losses, because at least then there will not be yet another batch of ignorant, misogynistic comments out there to rile men up and shame women. But the other part of me does not want to avert my eyes on the chance that they truly are planning violent acts against women in order to prove a point, which is displayed regularly in the comments sections of their articles.

You men know this is not going to stop by begging, pleading, burning yourselves to death. You know whats coming……you know what it’s going to take to stop this. I don’t have to tell you. And you know what you would have prefered to see burn on that court house step. Deny it as much as you like, but it will stop when we start making these arseholes pay….and fear……and hurt……and not before

My advice to any MRA who happens to actually want equal rights for all: Knock it off with the anti-women rhetoric. Knock it off with the anecdata that supposedly proves that men are oppressed. Knock it off with using the struggles within relationships as proof that women are lying, evil, manipulative cunts, when men have just as active a role in the issues within relationships, and can be just as cruel and manipulative as the examples that you like to display. Knock it off with bullying those with opposing viewpoints. If you want true equal rights, and believe that people can be treated equally, you must treat women as equals. Demonizing them will not bring the majority of them over to your side despite the fact that a few women have been shamed into submission.

Ok, my response to that video I have been angry about has finally loaded. It’s long as hell. But hopefully I did the subject some justice.

I took some time last night to counter a Men’s Right’s Activist on youtube because I dunno, I’m a masochist? Anyways, I made point after point, countering their bullshit arguments. So what happened? The video creator gave me a bunch of weak, easily refutable retorts, and then BLOCKED ME so that, I dunno, it would appear as if he was correct and had school me? I had nothing to come back with? WEAK! I called his ass on not being brave enough to date a feminist because he was afraid of being wrong… looks like I was right.

Please, fill this guy in on how wrong he is. It’s pathetic and sickening. Dude is a fool.

(mirrored)

Seriously, shaming “sluts” for their “dangerous” behavior is the most counterproductive thing you can do. When someone feels ashamed for doing something that comes naturally to them, they are more prone to hiding it. They are afraid to talk to their parents or teachers for guidance. They’re afraid to go get tested for STDs, or if they do, they’re not going to give accurate information about their number or their practices. They’re not going to go pick up condoms because they won’t want the person at the counter judging them. If having an STD makes someone feel “dirty,” they’re not going to disclose that information to the people who need to know. They’re not going to report being sexually assaulted because they won’t want people knowing their sexual history. Removing the stigma of sex is the first step in creating a safer society with a healthy attitude. The danger and excitement of doing something “immoral” is part of the allure in and of itself. 

Take away that shame and you have kids talking to their parents and being encouraged to take care of themselves and avoid unhealthy relationships. You have people talking to their partners about what they want and expect out of their sexual relationship and not being afraid to request they use condoms. You have people saying, yes, I have an STD, it happens even when you use protection, have sex with just one person, or are in a committed relationship, you have the option of deciding if you still want to sleep with me.  You have people who don’t need to get drunk in order to have the guts to have sex, therefore they’re not making mistakes or getting so drunk that someone they didn’t want to be involved with takes advantage of them. You have healthier sexual encounters within committed relationships because you don’t feel like what you’re doing is wrong. The list goes on.

People like Onision are sex negative. They view sex as dirty and shameful. They view sex as something a man does to a woman, not something that two people share. They limit the way that they can interact with people based on old fashioned concepts of morality derived from religious oppression. They have no foresight or psychological/sociological understanding of what the result of this type of attitude has on the general public. They want control over other people, and the only way to flex that control is through judgment and humiliation. Be like I want you to be, do not be the person that you are.

Why do people who have many sex partners look back and say “It wasn’t worth it?” Because society has trained them to feel that shame. Society is telling them that they’re dirty, immoral, flawed. So no, ten years down the line when your partner is passing judgment on you for your former exploits, of course it doesn’t feel worth it. But if society’s opinions changed on the matter overall, you wouldn’t have that problem. You would look at it like, “I had fun while I was young and single, now I’m older and married and I have gotten that urge out of my system. I can settle down and share with my partner all the tricks that I’ve learned and be happy with them.” 

Anyways, long story short, Onision is a simple little man with a simple little brain. If he did more than google himself all day he might understand more than just “Sluts is bad duhh.”

People like Onision like to say horrible things and then hide behind the, “but that’s just my opinion” card. I’m sorry, it doesn’t work like that when your “opinion” is that it’s ok to rape your spouse in their sleep. That doesn’t work when your “opinion” is that it’s ok to rape someone who has had 20+ sexual partners because they can’t possibly not want sex. These surpass the realm of “harmless opinion” and breech the territory of dangerous hate speech.

I made the mistake of reading the comments to his latest video and I saw a user disputing what he said. They were talking about how your wife is not your sex toy. I was like, “DAMN RIGHT SHE’S NOT!” But then they ended it with, “That’s just my opinion and I respect yours.” Umm, what? How can you, knowing full well what the right thing in this scenario is, say that you respect the opinion that he just spouted? Stuff about his partner belonging to him, completely objectifying them as if their body is not their property. Let’s be real here, having sex with or groping someone while they are sleeping is treating them as if they are an object for your pleasure. If you’re into feeling like that, do you man, but for him to tell people that aren’t into being objectified that they are just boring…. what?

I then see comment after comment of people like, “Why are you mad, it’s just his opinion.” I just can’t stress enough that this is not an “opinion” that I’m capable of tolerating. This isn’t someone telling me that Nickelback is a quality band. This is someone telling me that if, heaven forbid, I ever get married, I should be ok with my husband using my body as if I were a blow up doll. This is someone telling me that I must be boring because it would bother me to know that my husband was having sex with me without my consent.

This is not opinion, this is a call to action. This is him reinforcing in men that it’s ok to rape their wives, something that women have been fighting to put an end to for decades. This is him telling women what their boundaries should be and shaming them for wanting the right to give informed consent every time someone has sex with them. These are things that people are going to hear and it’s going to either cause or continue the victimization of spouses and significant others because they were told that it was ok by someone they, for some reason, respect.

A more reasonable response which would not have caused this type of damage would have been, “Well, I personally like to be woken up to sex. My partners and I have enjoyed doing this, but we also discussed that it was something that we were ok with in advance, and if one of us changed our mind I would be totally cool with that too. If you’re not into that, your partner needs to respect that and vice versa, and they should never do it without making sure it’s something that you’re into first.” I think that would’ve been a pretty solid answer to the question. It wouldn’t have made such bold implications, it wouldn’t have reinforced the notion that spousal rape is ok, and it would encourage people to communicate their feelings on these types of encounters prior to performing them instead of just diving in and hoping for the best.

But this is Onision we’re talking about here. He only knows how to dive in and hope for the best. Research, understanding of psychology, listening to how things make people feel, those aren’t things he does before opening his big mouth. If he feels this way, everyone should feel this way. There is no truth beyond the realm of what he can come up with in his tiny little brain.

But I’m digressing. I cannot respect nor tolerate these types of opinions because, bottom line, they hurt people. They cause pain, they cause victimization, and they are not even close to harmless. Any opinion that says it’s ok to harm or take away the basic human rights of another person is not an opinion that I am willing to accept.

(Source: youtube.com)

After saying he has never been raped. 

It’s not up on onionchronicles yet, so if you’re gonna watch it, please take a moment to flag it while you’re there

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=5UG4_5zstzU#!

Ok, it’s up on onionchronicles now, you can watch it without paying him to explain to you how it felt to be raped now.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=clsNATeHVSM&feature=youtu.be

It just needs to be reiterated that what a woman is wearing or doing is not the cause of rape.

People who victim-blame do so as a way to separate themselves from the victims. “She did a, b, and c, so I’m gonna do x, y, and z instead to avoid the same fate.”

That gives women a false sense of security. “Oh, if only I don’t dress a certain way, don’t go to certain places at certain times, don’t drink in public, then it’ll never happen to me.”

When the truth is, children get raped, elderly people get raped, men get raped, women wearing sweats get raped, women wearing miniskirts get raped, fat people get raped, thin people get raped, disabled people get raped, able-bodied people get raped, straight people get raped, queer people get raped, cis-gendered people get raped, trans people get raped, you can get raped in a parking garage or a back alley, or in your own bed. No one is exempt to the actions of someone else. - The Dangers of Victim Blaming

When I see people touting this belief that women get raped because they dress like sluts, it just makes me fear for every woman that person associates with. It makes me sad for them. It makes me afraid of what actions the person who is thinking this is justifying with their ignorant opinions.

These things are never limited to just harmless opinions. Someone is always victimized by them in one way or another. 

It’s been over a week since youtube partner Onision made an incredibly personal attack on his ex girlfriend public for his tens of thousands of youtube followers and fans to see. He then created a series of videos (mirrored) which only exacerbated the situation. In doing so, he also deeply offended thousands of people with his statement,

(via dietraumer)

First, thanks for reblogging that last post. It’s up to 101 notes so far which is great. Hopefully we can get even more as the day goes on. Unfortunately this protest coincides with the protest on SOPA which means a lot of tumblrs are blacked out today, but we’re spreading the word around other places too, so we can keep it going. I’ll probably repost the original post after the blackouts are over for anyone who may have missed it.

Anyways, there have been some questions about flagging. People are kind of confused. Here is a step by step guide on flagging his videos.

1. Click on the playlist I made of the offending videos http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLA08C8BE8B518F9BF

2. Open a video in a new tab, noting what to file it under in the description next to the video:

3. Click the flag button underneath the video:

4. Select a reason: 

5. If you clicked promotes Hatred or Violence Select “sex” and then type how what he said was wrong in the description box, if you clicked bullying, skip to step 6:

6. Click Submit Video for Review:

7. Repeat steps 2-6 for each video.

Hopefully that cleared up some confusion. Remember, I’ve made suggestions next to each video of how I submitted them myself. Also, only flag the videos on his own channels. Onionchronicles is a channel where they mirrored the videos. No ad revenue is being made off that channel, it’s just to document his behavior. 

Thanks for all your help and effort! Together we can make a statement that this behavior is NOT ok.