There is a meme called the rationalization hamster which is filled with sexist opinions of how women supposedly rationalize their behavior. So let’s flood it with the rationalizations of MRAs and misogynists instead.

(Source: quickmeme.com)

I watched a video recently called The War on Women, in which an MRA illustrates the point that using the term “war” in regards to recent attempts by various government officials to revoke the rights that women currently hold is an exaggeration, and an insult to all the men who have fought, died, and been drafted in wars. While I shouldn’t have to mention that, as it stands currently women can and do fight and die in wars (and have a high likelihood of being raped by their fellow soldiers while enlisted), and that nobody is being drafted, apparently those women don’t count. Additionally, this video chooses to ignore the innocent bystanders, many of which happen to be women, as well as the female nurses who have always been in harms way while serving their country.

Regardless, I found it interesting that a group that so frequently equates feminists with Nazis chose this word choice to start getting touchy. Are feminists placing men into concentration camps and gas chambers, shooting them at gun ranges, and trying to eliminate men from the world? I can say with full confidence that they are not, and, even the most radical feminists with the most hateful viewpoints on men, are not operating in a manner that even comes close to the actions of the Nazis. Yet the term feminazi lives on, and is used regularly as a part of the MRA’s vocabulary. So while using the word “war” minimizes the sacrifice and suffering of the men, specifically, who have served in the military, the casual use of the word Nazi as a dig at the women who dare stand up for themselves is completely appropriate, to the point in coming up with lists to demonstrate the similarities in extremist opinions, which could absolutely be applied to the extremists within their own movement. No hypocrisy there folks!

Finally, I link you to a clip on the Daily Show that happened to be 100% appropriate considering my recently having come across this video. At least somebody gets it, and can illustrate just how absurd this video is in a way that I can also laugh at. I don’t see MRA’s making videos protesting the use of “The War On Christmas,” do I?

(Source: manboobz.com)

“’..and happily have sex with my husband whenever HE wants to.’

Yeah. This line got me too. It’s amazing that most women feel this way. They treat sex as though they are the only ones giving something in the exchange.

As if they get no sexual pleasure from the experience.

My uncle once told me a joke. He said, “Who enjoys sex the most, women or men?”

Of coarse being young and programmed, I said, “Men.”

My uncle laughed and said, “Take your finger and put it in your ear and wiggle it around. Which feels better, your finger or your ear?”

That was my first red pill.”

How the hell can they compare a finger to a dick and an ear to a vagina? There are no physical sensations in the finger, which is completely different than a dick. And, for many women, they can’t come from vaginal penetration alone, but clitoral stimulation…. cue dozens of men calling this an amazing comparison… WHAT? I’m not pretending that the myth that women don’t enjoy sex isn’t a myth, because for many it completely is a myth. But to use this comparison as a reason why women somehow get more out of it and to use it as an example of male oppression… WHAT? And then we have men jealous of women who have multiple orgasms (as if men don’t have to option of having sex more than once in a night) as a natural form of oppression. Not all women can have orgasms, especially not multiple orgasms. A much larger percentage of men can have orgasms regularly. But women have the upper hand in sex? What is this nonsense?

But how can I really expect thought provoking commentary in the section of an article that is so clearly inane to begin with?

(Source: avoiceformen.com)

I have this problem where I allow people’s arrogance to piss me off moreso than it should. I recently made a video about how troubled I am by the MRA movement and was bombarded with hateful comments, comments that were so vague yet so specific in stating that I was an idiot who was irrational and incorrect without offering any counter-claims explaining my incorrect stance, comments about my appearance and my weight, and comments full of anecdata describing how these one-off incidents were prime examples of men’s oppression in our society.

I was also told that all of the problems men face (not being able to gain custody of children, being murdered at higher rates than women, prison rape, etc) were examples of rights issues and male oppression, but that women being raped at alarming rates, women being muscled out of career advancement by boys clubs and sexist comments/harassment/bullying tactics, being forced into prostitution and sex work (which I consider in a way the equivalent of these cries of the number of homeless men, let’s face it, many of these women who are prostitutes are essentially homeless, and often only receive shelter through an exploitative male figure such as a pimp, but you don’t see them lumped in with the homeless population), etc, were not rights issues, nor were they true oppression.

I was then told that, despite the fact that primarily men own the media outlets, it’s a feminist media. I was given a handful of shows that were examples of women on tv, while completely overlooking all the man-specific shows and channels, and ignoring the wide variety of male representation vs the very limited gender roles that women play on tv which tend to play up their helplessness, annoyingness, cattiness, and focus specifically on their beauty.

I was told that my own failures in the workplace, and the failures of other women, were simply a lack of talent and competence. Without even seeing me work, or seeing the products of my efforts, the assumption was made that I, as a woman, am simply incapable of the same results that a man would get in the same position. The clear gender bias in my field is all in my head as well. Meanwhile, when men don’t succeed, it is directly related to affirmative action. It has nothing to do with their abilities and is a completely sexist, racist conspiracy to bring the white man down (BTW, I am racist for acknowledging the MRA movement is primarily a phenomenon of the white males in our society. Their telling me how diverse their movement is means it is true).

I was then told that they are not sexist because there are a handful of MRAs who happen to be women, and not racist because a handful of MRAs happen to be minorities. They aren’t sexist against youtube vlogger girlwriteswhat because she does an excellent job of being sexist against herself, or, according to them, she speaks rationally and intelligently. Her disdain for her own gender is so clear that they don’t have to treat her in a sexist manner, the work has been done for them. But I was told to watch her videos for a wake up call, when all I was treated to was more blatant hypocrisy and a bunch of sexist theories.

Men’s rights are real issues, women’s rights are a bunch of whining

We have the titanic theory in which the concept of “women and children first” shows that women were valued and men were disposable. Girlwriteswhat chalks this up to the fact that men can constantly produce sperm, but women can only produce one egg at a time, have a 9 month gestation period, etc. Ok, guys, hate to break it to you, but that “women and children first” bit was just another one-off. A moment in time in which women were given preferential treatment over men, which MRAs will use as a shining example of systematic oppression of men in our society. They completely disregard the reality that children are our future, and that any parent would gladly give their lives so that their child could continue theirs. This was a time where women were the primary caregivers of their children, a role that they had very little choice in opposing, so it was seen as in the best interest of the children to send the mothers along with them. If a similar situation were to occur in this day and age, whoever the primary care giver happened to be, be it male or female, would likely be sent with the child. Not to mention, it was, maybe still is, a desire of men to continue their lineage. A 50 year old man was not likely to go on to spread his seed further, yet his sons and daughters had the option to create future generations of Smiths and Jones given the opportunity to escape the ship. Regardless of the thought process behind it, this was not common practice, nor is it a solid example of male oppression. It’s just a tragedy that unfortunately could have been prevented but wasn’t.

Another troubling issue I took with her idea of right and wrong was in the raising of her children, she seems to find it necessary to use gendered insults to motivate her children (this is a long video, but there is example after example of her hatred of women in this interview) When motivating her daughter she calls her a princess (funny, I was called a princess repeatedly in my comments section) which is code for stop acting like an entitled woman who thinks she is royalty. When motivating her son she tells him to “pull up his big girl pants,” again, insinuating that there is something inherently wrong, lazy, and whiny about being a woman. These are two children who are going to grow up with prejudices against women stemming from their mother’s obvious bias in assuming that women are, by nature, lazy.

In the same interview she takes responsibility for her own rape, saying that, had she not knowingly put herself in a dangerous situation, she would not have been raped. Ok, this is incredibly troubling, and I came across a really excellent quote that helped me express my feelings on the subject of victim blaming on one of my new favorite blogs, manboobz:

And does anyone else find it disturbing how much MRAs talk about “programming?” its disturbing because it denies people, especially women, control of their actions and gives MRAs the belief that because women are “programmed” a certain way, thus men must control them so they don’t get out of hand.

Similarly when they talk about men’s programming it denies them the responsibility of their actions. Like when they say “sorry but I’m programmed to catcall when I see a chick in a lowcut top.’ Yet they never allude to anyone controlling men or removing men’s rights to save them from themselves. They never allude to locking men in the house if they can’t help harassing women on the street. Instead they force women to wear burquas and bear the consequences of their actions

So girlwriteswhat should have not lived her life in accordance to her needs and wants because of the likelihood that a man might choose to victimize her, and her subsequent victimization after having made a “not so safe” choice somehow holds her at least partially responsible for the victimization, as she wouldn’t have been victimized had she stayed home that night.

I must express how incredibly false this statement is from a completely different standpoint than simply being against blaming the victim. Had she not been victimized that night, her life may have taken a completely different path, eventually landing her in a situation in which she was raped in a different set of circumstances. To dwell on what ifs is dangerous, deceiving, and illogical. You cannot determine what would have happened in your life had you not made one decision because one decision can completely alter the course of your life in ways which you cannot imagine.

Ok, let’s, for a moment, compare this to one of the epidemics that MRAs love to go on about: The rape of incarcerated men, and particularly the rape of those who have committed rape. I absolutely, 100%, feel that it is wrong to rape, regardless of gender, regardless of choice, regardless of anything. Rape is never acceptable and never the fault of the victim. Another person makes a decision to rape you, and while you could technically “fight back,” that could result in the person being hurt even worse, or possibly killed. Any and all choice made before, during, or after a rape does not make the rape any more or less the fault of the victim, as it is always 100% on the rapist for committing the crime.

That being said, MRAs are constantly trying to get women to take responsibility if they wore a short skirt or walked down an alley alone, but never suggest that incarcerated men bare partial responsibility for having committed a crime in the first place. Everyone knows that the likelihood of being raped as a man dramatically increases upon incarceration (and this is a provable assertion through statistics, and not through a false assumption that the wearing of a short skirt encourages rape), yet men still choose to commit crimes that will land them in jail. So if I were to subscribe to this false mentality that victims were somehow to blame for their choices that happened to land them in a situation in which they were victimized, MRAs would have to accept that the men who choose to commit crimes are also responsible for their own rapes. They would also have to accept responsibility in their choices to associate with women who rape them, as many women are blamed for their selection in male acquaintances and partners and admonished for trusting said acquaintances and partners when they happened to assault them.

The list of hypocrisy goes on and on and just diminishes the likelihood that anyone will take their movement seriously. It’s unfortunate for the causes they stand for which do actually deserve attention, such as the need for both parents to get a fair shot at custody rights, and for the rape of men by women to be recognized as rape and not “other sexual assault.” But instead of focusing on these issues and seeking to create legislation that rectify them, they seem to be more concerned with blaming feminism for them. They make statements about unequal treatment of men and lace them with anti-woman sentiments.

They write off any non-supportive statements of MRAs immediately, without even listening or reading beyond the first few sentences, as irrational straw man arguments.

They expect women to take full responsibility for all of their actions, and even the actions of others against them, while acting as though men are victims of the feminist culture in which they were raised. Feminism is to blame somehow for male victimization of other males, despite the fact that men have been committing violent crimes against each other since the dawn of time, centuries before women had even the slightest bit of control.

The other flaw of the movement is how quick they are to lump all women in with the actions of one bad person. Their paranoia about sperm burglars runs so rampant in their community that it was used as an argument as a privilege that women hold in the comments of one youtube video:

Despite the fact that sperm only survive for a few minutes to a few hours outside the body, making it pretty unlikely that this tactic would actually work, it’s insanity to assume that women are actually doing this often. There is also this hatred towards women who claim to be on the pill, allowing the man to engage in intercourse without a condom, while completely ignoring the amount of men who insist on using the pull out method, but then don’t actually follow through with pulling out. When it comes down to it, neither gender is any more or less responsible for the use of contraceptives. Both can insist that a condom is used, both can be, and are at times, dishonest when it comes to using protection. Yet MRAs take some examples of women’s dishonesty, the accidents that happen when they are using birth control, or the allowing of sex without a condom, and use it to paint all women in this lying, manipulative light, assuming that their individual sperm is so valuable to women that they must steal it from them. This insistence that all women are trying to trap them for 18 years of child support is a paranoid delusion that I don’t even feel is that necessary to touch upon because it’s so obvious, yet it’s constantly being touted as trufax.

I could continue but I have homework to do. I am just bewildered by this phenomenon and I am at my wits end hearing all of this anti-woman hate speech in an attempt to understand if there is even the slightest bit of validity in their claims. Part of me wants to just ignore it, delete my video, and cut my losses, because at least then there will not be yet another batch of ignorant, misogynistic comments out there to rile men up and shame women. But the other part of me does not want to avert my eyes on the chance that they truly are planning violent acts against women in order to prove a point, which is displayed regularly in the comments sections of their articles.

You men know this is not going to stop by begging, pleading, burning yourselves to death. You know whats coming……you know what it’s going to take to stop this. I don’t have to tell you. And you know what you would have prefered to see burn on that court house step. Deny it as much as you like, but it will stop when we start making these arseholes pay….and fear……and hurt……and not before

My advice to any MRA who happens to actually want equal rights for all: Knock it off with the anti-women rhetoric. Knock it off with the anecdata that supposedly proves that men are oppressed. Knock it off with using the struggles within relationships as proof that women are lying, evil, manipulative cunts, when men have just as active a role in the issues within relationships, and can be just as cruel and manipulative as the examples that you like to display. Knock it off with bullying those with opposing viewpoints. If you want true equal rights, and believe that people can be treated equally, you must treat women as equals. Demonizing them will not bring the majority of them over to your side despite the fact that a few women have been shamed into submission.

There’s just all sorts of crazed women running around shoving trash condoms up their cooches. It’s a goddamn epidemic!!!

I took some time last night to counter a Men’s Right’s Activist on youtube because I dunno, I’m a masochist? Anyways, I made point after point, countering their bullshit arguments. So what happened? The video creator gave me a bunch of weak, easily refutable retorts, and then BLOCKED ME so that, I dunno, it would appear as if he was correct and had school me? I had nothing to come back with? WEAK! I called his ass on not being brave enough to date a feminist because he was afraid of being wrong… looks like I was right.

Please, fill this guy in on how wrong he is. It’s pathetic and sickening. Dude is a fool.

People like Onision like to say horrible things and then hide behind the, “but that’s just my opinion” card. I’m sorry, it doesn’t work like that when your “opinion” is that it’s ok to rape your spouse in their sleep. That doesn’t work when your “opinion” is that it’s ok to rape someone who has had 20+ sexual partners because they can’t possibly not want sex. These surpass the realm of “harmless opinion” and breech the territory of dangerous hate speech.

I made the mistake of reading the comments to his latest video and I saw a user disputing what he said. They were talking about how your wife is not your sex toy. I was like, “DAMN RIGHT SHE’S NOT!” But then they ended it with, “That’s just my opinion and I respect yours.” Umm, what? How can you, knowing full well what the right thing in this scenario is, say that you respect the opinion that he just spouted? Stuff about his partner belonging to him, completely objectifying them as if their body is not their property. Let’s be real here, having sex with or groping someone while they are sleeping is treating them as if they are an object for your pleasure. If you’re into feeling like that, do you man, but for him to tell people that aren’t into being objectified that they are just boring…. what?

I then see comment after comment of people like, “Why are you mad, it’s just his opinion.” I just can’t stress enough that this is not an “opinion” that I’m capable of tolerating. This isn’t someone telling me that Nickelback is a quality band. This is someone telling me that if, heaven forbid, I ever get married, I should be ok with my husband using my body as if I were a blow up doll. This is someone telling me that I must be boring because it would bother me to know that my husband was having sex with me without my consent.

This is not opinion, this is a call to action. This is him reinforcing in men that it’s ok to rape their wives, something that women have been fighting to put an end to for decades. This is him telling women what their boundaries should be and shaming them for wanting the right to give informed consent every time someone has sex with them. These are things that people are going to hear and it’s going to either cause or continue the victimization of spouses and significant others because they were told that it was ok by someone they, for some reason, respect.

A more reasonable response which would not have caused this type of damage would have been, “Well, I personally like to be woken up to sex. My partners and I have enjoyed doing this, but we also discussed that it was something that we were ok with in advance, and if one of us changed our mind I would be totally cool with that too. If you’re not into that, your partner needs to respect that and vice versa, and they should never do it without making sure it’s something that you’re into first.” I think that would’ve been a pretty solid answer to the question. It wouldn’t have made such bold implications, it wouldn’t have reinforced the notion that spousal rape is ok, and it would encourage people to communicate their feelings on these types of encounters prior to performing them instead of just diving in and hoping for the best.

But this is Onision we’re talking about here. He only knows how to dive in and hope for the best. Research, understanding of psychology, listening to how things make people feel, those aren’t things he does before opening his big mouth. If he feels this way, everyone should feel this way. There is no truth beyond the realm of what he can come up with in his tiny little brain.

But I’m digressing. I cannot respect nor tolerate these types of opinions because, bottom line, they hurt people. They cause pain, they cause victimization, and they are not even close to harmless. Any opinion that says it’s ok to harm or take away the basic human rights of another person is not an opinion that I am willing to accept.

(Source: youtube.com)

It’s been over a week since youtube partner Onision made an incredibly personal attack on his ex girlfriend public for his tens of thousands of youtube followers and fans to see. He then created a series of videos (mirrored) which only exacerbated the situation. In doing so, he also deeply offended thousands of people with his statement,

(via dietraumer)